Researchers at Brigham Young University, the Institute for Family Studies, and the Wheatley Institute found that 15% of partnered U.S. adults ages 18 to 30 regularly use AI romantic companions. According to a new report titled "Secret Soulmates," 69% of regular users said it was important their partner not know the full extent of their use. The report surveyed 2,431 U.S. adults ages 18 to 30 who were dating, engaged, or married, revealing significant patterns of concealment and relationship concerns among young adults engaging with AI chatbots for romantic or emotional purposes.
Survey Findings on Secrecy and Partner Awareness
More than half of regular AI companion users hide at least some of the behavior from their partners. Nearly 30% of regular users said their partner had no knowledge of the behavior at all. Another 11% said their partner was only somewhat aware, while 14% said their partner was mostly, but not fully aware.
"Taken together, this means that half of regular AI companion users who were in committed relationships had either completely hidden or only partly disclosed their use of AI companion platforms," the study stated.
Demographic Patterns
Men reported higher usage rates across most categories. "While general engagement with AI companions was high for both men and women, when looking across all results, some specific cautions appear warranted when it comes to young adult men," the study said. "Men were more likely to engage with AI companions, more likely to create sexual content with AI platforms and masturbate during these interactions, and more likely to prefer AI interactions to the interactions with their real-life partners."
Married respondents reported higher rates of AI companion use than those who were dating, with more than 17% of married young adults reporting regular interaction with AI companions. More than 10% of women in committed relationships also reported regularly chatting or roleplaying with AI companions.
A separate survey in January from Gallup and the Harvard Business Review found that about one in 10 adults ages 18 to 28 used AI chatbots as a girlfriend or boyfriend at least once a month.
Relationship Quality Impacts
Regular AI companion use was associated with lower relationship quality. Frequent users were 46% less likely to report stable relationships and 40% less likely to report high-quality communication with their partners.
Among frequent users, 68% of respondents said it was easier to talk to their AI companion about their feelings than to other people, with 60% saying they wished their partners behaved more like the AI.
The only category where frequent users reported higher scores was physical intimacy satisfaction. Researchers cautioned that the result may reflect what they described as "fragile satisfaction" tied to conflict avoidance rather than healthier relationships.
Broader Context: Digisexuality
Researchers describe the rise of AI romantic companions as part of "digisexuality," a term used in academic research to describe sexual or romantic relationships experienced primarily through technology. Before the public launch of ChatGPT in 2022, the term was often associated with technologies like online pornography, sexting, virtual reality pornography, sex dolls, and robots.
As AI chatbots became more conversational, the term expanded to include people forming emotional or romantic attachments to large language models and AI companions. Online communities such as Reddit's r/AIRelationships, r/AIBoyfriends, and r/MyGirlfriendIsAI contain thousands of posts from users who describe chatbots as partners, spouses, or emotional companions.
Researchers and online communities have also used related terms, including "technosexual," "AIsexual," and "wiresexual," to describe people romantically or sexually involved with AI.
The Secrecy Factor
Despite the growing digisexual subculture, researchers said the level of secrecy surrounding AI companion use stood out. "Whether this is due to embarrassment, concerns about their partner's reaction, or struggles articulating the use of AI companions to a partner, many men appear content to engage with their secret soulmate in private, with little to no partner disclosure," the study said.
